Tales From the Interview Wars
Notes, quotes, and conversations from the field
Let me say from the outset that, after 35 years, I still love what I do. I am always grateful for the people I interact with on a daily basis. It is my pleasure to be of service. The most favorite and rewarding part of my job is helping candidates achieve where they want to be, and I am humbled by the accolades and testimonials that I receive. Most of the candidates I deal with are truly professional, I enjoy speaking with them, and encourage them to stay focused on their job search. Please do not hesitate to contact me if I can ever be of service to you.
Having said that, I learned a long time ago that even the most meaningful of candidates say/ write some outrageous things, and I thought it would be fun to share some of the conversations I have had with candidates from time to time. Some are downright hilarious- some are pointed, and some are not so flattering.
Here are some of the best:
Waht sets me a-part from my pears is my ability to sell!
Really? How about your ability to spell?
You never know- you could be missing out on your next placement!
Believe me – with your background – I know!
If you get me an interview I will get you a commission!
Well, I’ve had you out on three now. Where is my check?
If you don’t tell me who your client is, I will contact them myself!
I didn’t know you were a mind reader, but if you do contact them, tell them I said hello
My ability as a manger is unsurpassed
I didn’t know that mangers had any ability other than to feed animals
I’m not really looking, I just want to see what is out there
Sorry, bud, I’m not the Sears Catalogue of jobs. Contact me when you are serious
Other recruiters tell me that my background is great. Why don’t you?
Because your background is not great
I’m working with five other recruiters now
Well, I’m not going to be #6!
I am dynamic, passionate, driven, motivated, hungry, eager, successful, and enthusiastic
Looks like you’ve run out of cliché’s
Look no further- you have found your candidate!
Nah, I’ll keep looking
Are you working for me or not?
No I’m not- you don’t pay me. My clients pay me
But I’m your client!
No you’re not- you are a candidate
Every time I send you my resume, you always answer me with a note saying that I am not a fit. Why do you do that?
Would you feel better if I did what most recruiters do and just ignore you?
I believe that every candidate deserves the respect of getting a response. It is the right and moral thing to do. I’m sorry if I’m telling you something that you don’t want to hear.
And there are others. Let me reassure you- I NEVER answer these e-mails with the sarcasm I have written in this posting. I try to answer every e-mail with the dignity and respect these people deserve. I am only having fun with you, the reader. After all, what good is a job if you don’t have fun?
I would love to hear your stories. Please feel free to e-mail me!